As many of you will already know I am a complementarian in relation to women in ministry. One critique of this stance is that it may encourage me to disrespect, look down upon or simply ignore women. I am devoting this post to my new hero... Monnica of Milan.
Monnica of Milan was the mother of Augustine. I could give you a load of historical details but you probably don't particularly care and I'd just end up sounding like some pompous historian; when really it's the story of this woman's Faith that inspires me. Almost all of what we know about her is from 'The Confessions of St Augustine' so I'll be quoting from there. You really need to read this book. It's very short, get it in contemporary english and you'll understand. The book is so packed with wisdom it's incredible. Augustine is another of my heros, so you know I really do love this book.
Out of the 13 chapters, Monnica plays a major role in 5 of them but her influence penetrates each one. I'm going to pass on a few quotes that fill me with amazement at the Faith God had granted her.
Feel free to read the quotes alone, they are highlighted by bold text.First she appears in 'Infancy'. Incredible for it's time this Augustinian autobiography records God's revealing of Himself through the Faith and works of a woman. He ironically writes,
"We can learn much about Your care by seeing those 'weak females' who cared for us as infants." This is a massive advance from the thinking of the time; and it cannot be passed over without note.
Secondly she appears in 'Monnica: His Mother's Care':
"It was her earnest desire that You, my God, should be my father and take the place of my earthly father. In this You helped her prevail over her husbandm to whom she gave submission (although she was the better person) in obedience to Your command." What a passage in a day when there are real questions over how a Christian woman should interact with a 'pagan' husband.
"My mother foresaw what would come. She preferred to expose me to temptations while the clay was still soft, that afterward I might be reworked and cast in the shape of Your mold." This displays such Faith! Again this speaks to us today as Christian men and women try to get their heads around what we should protect our kids from. Do we really trust God with our kids? Or do we want to put more legalistic restrictions on them (yes, because we love them, but also because our Faith is often lacking)?
Monnica next shows up in the chapter 'At Carthage' where she is told by a Bishop that she was berating to speak to her son,
"Go home with God's blessing. For it is not possible that the son of all these tears should perish." We are told repeatedly throughout his autobiography that Augustine's mother
"had been weeping to You for me more than mothers weep at the physical death of their children." This must be our reaction to the lost state of our children; we mustn't be tempted to show our lack of Faith by imposing legalistic restrictions upon them. (I do accept that often it is not a lack of Faith that requires rules, we must also encourage our children to respect our God given authority, with love).
We are later brought to Milan in 'Monnica at Milan', the backdrop to the image above. Monnica followed her son to Milan. He tells us of her bravery as she travelled (as a WIDOW),
"She was in danger at sea, and she encouraged the seamen, although it is usually the mariners who have to comfort the passengers who aren't used to sailing. Mother assured the mariners that the ship would arrive safe. She told them that You had promised her of a safe journey's end in a vision." The most feeble in the world's eyes demanding faith from the strongest.
When she is reunited with her son in Milan, who has shaken off the lie of Manichaeanism, she was not fully satisfied by this as it was not the complete fulfillment of what she had been praying for and promised.
"She was totally calm, though, for she had been utterly certain that You would give to her all that You had promised one day. She had rested in full confidence in the Lord. She explained that she had accepted as a certainty that before her death she would see me come to orthodox faith. This had been her serene conviction, even as she poured out her overflowing prayers and tears to You, the Fountain of mercy. She has cried that You would hasten to set the light in my dark world." This is Faith on a scale I rarely see, read of or hear of. And for my friend Jonny Mo and others interested in God's heart for the poor (which should be all of us);
"She still gave what she could to the poor; so the sacrament of the Lord's Body might be celebrated fully." She understood the purpose of works! And we're even told that the great 'Ambrose of Milan'
"abounded with her praise. He congratulated me that I had such a mother."Back to the issue of a woman and her husband. Monnica again displays incredible trust, faith and obedience.
"When she was of marriable age, she was given to a husband and served him as her lord. She did her best to win him unto You, speaking about You to him through her speech, her amiable reverence, and other traits that her husband admired. She so endured his offenses of infidelity and did not quarrel with her husband about them.
For she looked for Your mercy to come to him, that he might become chaste through belief in You. Besides his unfaithfulness, he was a man of great passions, both in his affection and in his explosive temper: She had learned to submit to her husband in word and deed, even when he became angry. Only after his anger subsided, when he was able to listen, did she explain and defend actions that he had hastily taken offense at.
Other wives of milder husbands openly showed resentment on their faces and would complain to the family about their husbands' lives. When she heard such complaints, she would tell them to hold their tongues, giving serious advice in the humorous quip that, from the time they heard the marriage voews, they should regard their marriage contract as a servant's contract of indenture.
Those who understood what a difficult husband she endured marveled that she never spread reports of ill treatment... In confidence she was asked why she put up with such faults. This is when she made the statement about the indentured servant." Now, I'm careful not to portray this as 'women should put up with abusive husbands'. We know from Scripture that men must love their wives. But is this witness not incredible? I have again, never heard anything like this.
Among gossiping and quarelling we hear,
"She listened to both side of a bitterly dispute" and
"She never would disclose anything that one side would say about the other unless she could use it to encourage reconciliation."To touch upon the subject of her husband one final time as we come across her in 'The Death of Monnica'...
"In the end, toward the end of his earthly life, this worthy wife did gain her own husband for You. Never did she again have the problems she had suffered before he became a believer." He continues, writing
"She was also the servant of Your servants. Those of Your servants who knew her had reason to give to You much praise and honour and love because of her. They witnessed in her the fruits of Your holy fellowship with her and percieved Your presence in her heart. For she had been the wife of one man, had honoured her parents, had governed her house piously, and was well reported of for good works. She had brought up children after travailing in birth, and she travailed when she saw them swerving from You. Lastly she took care of all of us who are Your servants." What a woman! What a testimony to recieve from one's son.
She most impressed him when on her death bed she told him,
"Son, for mine part, I have no further delight in anything in this life. What I am to do and why I am here any longer, I do not know. My hopes in this world are accomplished. There was one thing that I longed to see while I lived, and that was for you to be a catholic Christian. My God has been more than generous in giving this to me, for I have seen you despise earthly happiness to become His servant. So now what am I doing here?" Are these not some of the most magnificent words ever to be printed? Does this not give a heavenly glimpse of the beautiful calling to mothering a child?
This is but a mere slither of the vast delicacy that is Monnica of Milan recorded in 'Confessions'. Augustine's masterpiece contains some of the deepest and most significant sentences in all Christian literature. Please read this book.
Monnica is, in my opinion, the best example outwith Scripture of a Godly Woman. And what an example. If I ever had the chance to meet a woman of such faith, or a man, I expect I would have many reasons to praise God.
To conclude, may it be known that I do not write off my Sisters.
